Sunday, November 26, 2006

Thanksgiving Decisions

We've had a lot on our minds lately. There have been a whole range of decisions made around this Thanksgiving.

Decisions have included everything from: What to do with Sam? He was scheduled to be off school for five days around Thanksgiving and hadn't seen his dad in six months. We probably need to help make this happen. Should we drive halfway? If we do, can we see my brother? Not really. His in-laws are visiting and he is working every day we are off. I don't want to spend my holiday driving w/o some enjoyment.

Then, we found out my friend, Melissa might be in southern California visiting her dad and step mom for Thanksgiving. If so, we are invited there which would mean I'd have time with a friend and Sam and his dad could also have some time together. But when we talked with Sam's dad about this plan, he wanted to split a plane ticket instead. And since Melissa wasn't sure she was coming, we decided to go for the plane ticket. At least we had decided about Sam's visitation plans.

Then, we wondered, "What should Cam & I do?" His friend, Malia generously invited us to join in her lavish Thanksgiving celebration - complete with wine, caviar and interesting conversation. It sounded decadent but they were ordering the turkey when we were still deciding whether we would be here or not. And if we were here without Sam, we might want some time for the two of us to be alone and the freedom to have an adventure if the mood strikes. So we declined.

Awhile ago, I spoke with my cousin, Ariel about the plans she and her girlfriend, Ash were making to move from Ohio to the Bay area at the end of November/first part of December. She asked if they would be able to stay with us for awhile until they got on our feet. They were supposed to have other options too. I know how hard it is trying to get here from the Midwest and wasn't able to do it without help. I wanted to help them and would love to have my family here but when we asked, "Do we have room for two people to live with us for awhile?" We decided we didn't.

Last weekend, Ariel called back. She said she was still coming out at the beginning of December but that Ash wasn't coming until after Christmas. She wondered, if she was alone, if we might have room. What if it is just one? We talked about it and agreed that while it would be crowded and undoubtedly stressful, we'd love to have her and she is welcome here. She leaves Columbus on the 30th and will arrive here sometime during the first week of December after stopping to visit people and see places along the way.

Then, Melissa called. She decided to come to southern California for Thanksgiving after all. By then, Cam and I were looking forward to not having to be anywhere and doing what we wanted to do for the holiday weekend. However, she is staying for awhile. So, I might drive down to see her this coming weekend. The thing is that we only have one car so if I go; whoever stays will be without one. And we are all a bit tired from traveling over the holiday. The decision about the coming weekend is still on the table. "Will Mary make get to see her friend?"

Also, I've been trying to decide what to do next professionally. While I like my current job and working part-time has its benefits, I'm not growing or learning. I know I want to help people but don't seem to have the qualifications to get a higher-level social services job. So, Does that mean grad school? Probably, but, Which school? Which program? What do I have to do to be accepted? "How will we pay for it? Will it be worth it?"

But the biggest decision we've been considering lately revolves around Cameron's daughter, Adelyn.

Some of you may not even know that Cameron has a daughter. She's not a baby anymore. Click here and here for more recent pictures.

Sam & I have never met Adelyn. There is a long, complicated story behind why but it is too personal to share on the web.

As the holidays approached this year, I spent a lot of time thinking about Adelyn. Our family was stable, secure and well on our way to being settled in our new home. What to do for the holidays was a big decision. We didn't really have the money to travel to see anyone but I could justify spending money on travel if it meant we would get to see Adelyn.

Cameron contacted her mom. She agreed to a visit. We finalized a date, purchased tickets and had a plan that was supposed to allow us to meet Adelyn, visit Cam's father's family in his hometown, attend Cam's friend's son's baptism and see my family too. I was elated.

Then, in the past week, we have been unable to agree on some major issues with Adelyn's mother and it looks like we may not get to meet Adelyn after all. "Will we ever get to know Adelyn?"

On Thanksgiving morning, Cam wanted to know what I wanted to do. I was preoccupied about the situation with Adelyn. We talked and I spent awhile crying over the heartbreak and disappointment I feel about the change in direction our plans are taking. He is disappointed too but thinks he is doing what is best for Adelyn. I absolutely want to support him but we don't completely agree about what is best.

The only thing I could say I wanted, aside from things to be different, was an egg casserole. Cam has made a couple of wonderful ones lately. I had an idea for one but wanted to make it together. He agreed that sounded like a good idea.

After talking, sharing a yummy breakfast and a shower, I felt better. I knew we needed something big, something different to throw ourselves into and save the day. We talked about a few local options and agreed that since Sam was gone, it would be a good time for a drive down a long, windy road.

Usually, we go north on Hwy 1, but since we had time for a really big drive, I tossed out the idea of going south to Big Sur. Cam enthusiastically agreed. We were talking about watching the sun set there then driving back but I threw a toothbrush and my contact solution into my bag in case we decided to spend the night.

Like Sam, my stomach gets upset when I am a passenger on winding roads too. Cam generously offered to let me drive. He took pictures along the way.

Neither of us had seen the stretch from San Francisco to Santa Cruz. The sunlight sparkled on the deep blue green water. The prairie grass shown in the sun. It was gorgeous.

After about four hours of driving, we arrived. We decided to spend the night so we would have the next day to explore on our way back. We found a room and decided to set out to investigate this area and soak up the sun.

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