The Castro & Dolores Park

After driving through Golden Gate Park and staring in awe at the ocean from Cliff House & the Sutro Baths, Ariel and I headed towards The Castro, "San Francisco's gay village." Ariel is interested in living in this area and wanted to check it out. Ariel pointed out signs for the Human Rights Campaign. They are working for equal rights for everyone.

Previously, I had shied away from mentioning Ariel's sexual orientation on my blog in am attempt to be respectful of her privacy. We had a meaningful talk yesterday where I learned that she takes offense when people use the word "friend" when referring to Ash, the woman she has been dating for over a year now. I told her that a lot of us are still learning how to be appropriately supportive. I appreciate her guidance.

Talking about other people at all on my blog is a very sensitive issue. I want to share my life and my experiences with people who love and care about me. Sometimes, my life experiences include other people. But, they may not want to have their part in my life experiences shared. Ariel assured me her life is an open book. I didn't want to unintentionally offend her by leaving out this part of our exploring the other day or by not being clear in my descriptions.

We walked through historic Dolores Park and saw same-sex couples enjoying the afternoon together. We even ran into a man I know from school. He was there with his partner and their new dog. They generously shared information about the neighborhood and told us where to find a good cup of coffee.

My mint mocha at the Dolores Park Cafe hit the spot. It was after dark on a school night. I was in danger of turning into a pumpkin.

But Ariel said we were close to The Lexington, a lesbian bar she wanted to walk by. I was happy to walk by but before I realized she actually wanted to walk through, I told her that as an out-of-shape, 34 year-old mom with a bad hair cut, I am not comfortable hanging out in any bar these days.

When I realized she did want to go in, I wasn't sure how I felt about the idea or what I was getting into but when we arrived, it looked laid-back and it was. We didn't stay too long but I was comfortable while we were there.

I love Ariel completely and unconditionally and hope she finds love, acceptance and whatever else she is looking for in this city we both were drawn to and from the family we share.

She's glamorous.

We've been having lots of fun spending time with Ariel this week. One day, I got to help her bleach her Mohawk.


I think she looks glamorous and beautiful.

Awhile ago, I wrote about beauty and quoted Women Who Run with the Wolves. Clarissa talks about wolves and beauty and says, "They all have their own body configurations and strength, their own beauty. They live and play according to what and who and how they are. They do not try to be what they are not."

Ariel is beautiful.

Can't wait to go back to Golden Gate Park

On our way to Cliff House and the Sutro Baths, Ariel and I drove through Golden Gate Park. Before last Sunday, I'd only even driven along the edge of the park. The last time we passed, Cam said he wanted to come back and explore the park. I sort of wondered "Why bother?" with all of the amazing nature outside of the city. But I said, "Yeah. Sure. Let's." While I meant it, I wasn't incredibly excited about crossing the bridge and dealing with traffic to get to a park.








I didn't know what I was talking about. The park was magnificent. We especially enjoyed the way the light shown through the trees. It reminded be a bit of Forest Park or even Tower Grove Park in St. Louis. We have lived next to and loved some glorious big city parks like those and Lincoln Park in Chicago. I can't wait to get back and experience this one.

Thanks for taking me through, Ariel.

Ariel's Return to Cliff House

When Ariel was 17, she came to California from Ohio by herself to meet some relatives on our side of the family and see her mom's grave. During this trip, our Uncle Mike took her to Cliff House & the Sutro Baths. It was the first time Ariel had seen the Pacific Ocean since she was a baby.

Last Sunday afternoon, she introduced me to the area. I was captivated by this beach. It as in a part of San Francisco I hadn't seen before. You can see the Cliff House off to her left in the top picture.

The remains of the Sutro Bath House are behind Ariel in this picture. The parking area is elevated significantly above the beach.

We climbed down the lengthy, steep staircase to the area near the bath house. Then, we entered the tunnel you see on Ariel's left.

When we emerged on the other side, we were met with this awesome site.











The waves were still quite large and crashed into these rocks dramatically.

We walked back through the tunnel to explore the rest of the area.






It must have been high tide. Ariel said that during low tide, you can walk out to these rocks and that sometimes people fish from them.

It was fun walking around on what was left of the bath house so close to the ocean.





The setting sun was glorious.

Hello, Bridge.

On our way back from exploring the beach with Ariel on her first morning in the Bay Area, we stopped at one of the parking area on the Marin Headlands to get a good view of our bridge. Cam relaxed.

I got a quick shot of Ariel and Sam together then the rain started again. We'd made good use of the sunshine and decided to take cover in the car for now.












Sam, the budding photographer, took some interesting close-up shots of us while we were driving.
























And introducing Ariel to Joe's.

Yum.

Hello, Ocean.

Last Sunday, on Ariel's first morning as a Californian, we made whole wheat cherry pancakes and talked about life. After sharing breakfast with Cam and Sam, we all milled around a bit trying to decide if the weather was going to allow us to take the trip to the beach we'd talked about or if we should opt for a tour of the city by car instead.

The weather broke and we made a bee line to Rodeo Beach. I enjoyed watching people I love enjoy the ocean.

Ariel joked about how it felt funny to be in bare feet while wearing a coat. But that's pretty standard around here.

And after driving 3,000 miles, it is essential to feel the sand on your feet at least for a little while, isn't it?















As Cam said in his blog, the waves were impressive.

Once the skies cleared, the sun was quite bright. It made for interesting shadows and brilliant colors.











But it was hard to get a photo of a person without making them squint into the sun or have shadows on their face.

Ariel said that was why she wears her hat. I learned about the benefit of wearing a hat to shade my eyes in Myrtle Beach.

Amy lent me a Rice Women's Rugby hat she had with her. I didn't want to give it back to her but eventually found one of my own.

I still have a Hello Dave hat Melissa gave me the night I met her at the Copper Dragon in Carbondale, Illinois. But I usually neglect to bring or wear them. I may try to remember one in the future.

It was fun to walk and talk and stroll along the beach.








Smiling.

Laughing.

"I can't believe I actually live here."











I asked Ariel if she wanted to climb the trail to the top of the bluff to get a different perspective. She did.

Cam decided not to join us since the only shoes he had with him were the flip flips he'd kicked off and left at the other end of the beach.






Sam was having fun climbing around near the base of the trail. He opted to stay and play around in this area.









The view from the top of the bluff is spectacular.

And thanks to the rain, it is much greener than it was the last time Cam, Sam and I climbed the trail.



The light made for interesting shadows.









Sam came to greet us when we returned to the beach.

We saw people riding horses and talked about how fun that would be.

Cam is soaking up the sun in the distance.











Here's a closer shot of him "communing with the ocean."

Sam follows suit.









Ariel joined the fun and tried to find a dry place to sit.

This piece of driftwood was intriguing. I thought it had been quite a ways away from the water when we passed it on our way up the beach. But on our way back, even though we thought the tide was going out, it seemed closer to the water.

I wondered if the tide was actually still moving in or if the water had moved the driftwood closer.

The water snuck up on Sam a couple of times. He managed to stay mostly dry but did get pretty wet when one wave crashed close to his perch.










Here, he is telling us about the experience.

I had been sharing a leftover cherry pancake with him and got a bit wet myself.













He is still fearless.

She made it.

I'm so proud of her. Ariel, drove from Columbus, Ohio all the way to San Francisco by herself.

She arrived last night around 8:30 pm. We shared some homemade Indian chickpea stew and talked in our pajamas.

I'm so happy she is here and that we have this time together.

We're hoping for a break in the rain today so we can take her exploring.

Thanksgiving Decisions

We've had a lot on our minds lately. There have been a whole range of decisions made around this Thanksgiving.

Decisions have included everything from: What to do with Sam? He was scheduled to be off school for five days around Thanksgiving and hadn't seen his dad in six months. We probably need to help make this happen. Should we drive halfway? If we do, can we see my brother? Not really. His in-laws are visiting and he is working every day we are off. I don't want to spend my holiday driving w/o some enjoyment.

Then, we found out my friend, Melissa might be in southern California visiting her dad and step mom for Thanksgiving. If so, we are invited there which would mean I'd have time with a friend and Sam and his dad could also have some time together. But when we talked with Sam's dad about this plan, he wanted to split a plane ticket instead. And since Melissa wasn't sure she was coming, we decided to go for the plane ticket. At least we had decided about Sam's visitation plans.

Then, we wondered, "What should Cam & I do?" His friend, Malia generously invited us to join in her lavish Thanksgiving celebration - complete with wine, caviar and interesting conversation. It sounded decadent but they were ordering the turkey when we were still deciding whether we would be here or not. And if we were here without Sam, we might want some time for the two of us to be alone and the freedom to have an adventure if the mood strikes. So we declined.

Awhile ago, I spoke with my cousin, Ariel about the plans she and her girlfriend, Ash were making to move from Ohio to the Bay area at the end of November/first part of December. She asked if they would be able to stay with us for awhile until they got on our feet. They were supposed to have other options too. I know how hard it is trying to get here from the Midwest and wasn't able to do it without help. I wanted to help them and would love to have my family here but when we asked, "Do we have room for two people to live with us for awhile?" We decided we didn't.

Last weekend, Ariel called back. She said she was still coming out at the beginning of December but that Ash wasn't coming until after Christmas. She wondered, if she was alone, if we might have room. What if it is just one? We talked about it and agreed that while it would be crowded and undoubtedly stressful, we'd love to have her and she is welcome here. She leaves Columbus on the 30th and will arrive here sometime during the first week of December after stopping to visit people and see places along the way.

Then, Melissa called. She decided to come to southern California for Thanksgiving after all. By then, Cam and I were looking forward to not having to be anywhere and doing what we wanted to do for the holiday weekend. However, she is staying for awhile. So, I might drive down to see her this coming weekend. The thing is that we only have one car so if I go; whoever stays will be without one. And we are all a bit tired from traveling over the holiday. The decision about the coming weekend is still on the table. "Will Mary make get to see her friend?"

Also, I've been trying to decide what to do next professionally. While I like my current job and working part-time has its benefits, I'm not growing or learning. I know I want to help people but don't seem to have the qualifications to get a higher-level social services job. So, Does that mean grad school? Probably, but, Which school? Which program? What do I have to do to be accepted? "How will we pay for it? Will it be worth it?"

But the biggest decision we've been considering lately revolves around Cameron's daughter, Adelyn.

Some of you may not even know that Cameron has a daughter. She's not a baby anymore. Click here and here for more recent pictures.

Sam & I have never met Adelyn. There is a long, complicated story behind why but it is too personal to share on the web.

As the holidays approached this year, I spent a lot of time thinking about Adelyn. Our family was stable, secure and well on our way to being settled in our new home. What to do for the holidays was a big decision. We didn't really have the money to travel to see anyone but I could justify spending money on travel if it meant we would get to see Adelyn.

Cameron contacted her mom. She agreed to a visit. We finalized a date, purchased tickets and had a plan that was supposed to allow us to meet Adelyn, visit Cam's father's family in his hometown, attend Cam's friend's son's baptism and see my family too. I was elated.

Then, in the past week, we have been unable to agree on some major issues with Adelyn's mother and it looks like we may not get to meet Adelyn after all. "Will we ever get to know Adelyn?"

On Thanksgiving morning, Cam wanted to know what I wanted to do. I was preoccupied about the situation with Adelyn. We talked and I spent awhile crying over the heartbreak and disappointment I feel about the change in direction our plans are taking. He is disappointed too but thinks he is doing what is best for Adelyn. I absolutely want to support him but we don't completely agree about what is best.

The only thing I could say I wanted, aside from things to be different, was an egg casserole. Cam has made a couple of wonderful ones lately. I had an idea for one but wanted to make it together. He agreed that sounded like a good idea.

After talking, sharing a yummy breakfast and a shower, I felt better. I knew we needed something big, something different to throw ourselves into and save the day. We talked about a few local options and agreed that since Sam was gone, it would be a good time for a drive down a long, windy road.

Usually, we go north on Hwy 1, but since we had time for a really big drive, I tossed out the idea of going south to Big Sur. Cam enthusiastically agreed. We were talking about watching the sun set there then driving back but I threw a toothbrush and my contact solution into my bag in case we decided to spend the night.


Like Sam, my stomach gets upset when I am a passenger on winding roads too. Cam generously offered to let me drive. He took pictures along the way.


Neither of us had seen the stretch from San Francisco to Santa Cruz. The sunlight sparkled on the deep blue green water. The prairie grass shown in the sun. It was gorgeous.

After about four hours of driving, we arrived. We decided to spend the night so we would have the next day to explore on our way back. We found a room and decided to set out to investigate this area and soak up the sun.