Once Upon a Time - Telling About Tony

I've been meaning to tell the story of a pre-Facebook romance. Valentine's Day seems like a good day to begin. Once upon a time, there was a man named Tony Horton. One fine spring day (in maybe 2000) as I was coming or going from an apartment I had been sharing with a very young Sam, in Newton, Iowa, Tony pulled up next to me in his Suburban & said, "I've noticed you around. You have this amazing smile. I was wondering, 'Would you go out with me?'" I did.

I went to see Tony perform in a play. He took me kayaking. We watched a wrecking ball demolish a building & visited the zoo with Sam. 

When I met him, Tony already had plans in place to move to New Hampshire. Obviously, his move impacted our relationship but didn't end it. For a long time, our adventures continued. We were last in touch in 2006 or 2007, sometime after Sam, Cam, & I had moved to California.

A little while ago, a map of the world reminded me of Tony. I decided to try to find him on Facebook. I found an obituary instead. 

I wrote his sister saying that while she & I hadn't spent much time together I had visited Tony at a home he, she, her husband, & two dogs had been sharing near Mt. Sunapee in New Hampshire. I told her how I remember being very impressed by the depth of the snow and that Tony had taken me skiing. I shared some other memories, too.

She let me know that on 12/19/13 she got a call from the police letting her know that Tony had died of an accidental overdose of opioids. When she & I connected it was the five year anniversary of that day. I don't know if Fentanyl was or wasn't involved in Tony's death.

My clothes are dry. Going to stop there for today but will look forward to sharing more about this amazing man I once knew named Tony Horton.

Adventures in Austin

I moved to Austin, Texas, in the fall of 2017, to be closer to my 20-year-old son, Sam. My cousin, Alan, & his family, and my cousin, Ariel, & her family, also live in the area.

Most of my updates are, currently, made via Facebook.
Please visit me, there.

Space for Seattle

After leaving Marin County, in the fall of 2015, I spent about two years living & working in Seattle...

You Have Been Served

On 2/22/15, I wrote, On Monday, Cam filed for divorce. Today, I was served with papers claiming irreconcilable differences. We're still being incredibly amicable.

Earlier this week, after I learned about an upcoming concert, I asked Cam, "If you were a woman in the midst of divorcing, which musician would you want to see?" He said, "I imagine there are lots." I agreed, but pushed, "If you had to choose just one..." He called it and I sang the line, "You oughta know." We laughed.

Alanis Morissette is coming to town. She'll be performing at the Nourse Theatre on Saturday, March 28. She helped me through my first divorce. We oughta go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPcyTyilmYY

Starting a New Journey

On 2/14/15, I wrote, It's a weird sort of Valentine's Day. I didn't want to share this, today, but, it feels like the time to talk about it has come.

Cameron and I have been having some really hard conversations, lately. It seems that while he still likes me & still loves me, he is no longer in love with me. "The time between meeting and finally leaving is sometimes called falling in love."

I've been sad, hurt, angry, unsettled, a whole host of gut-wrenching emotions. I've cried lots. Once we came to the realization, we've been trying to figure out what to do. We wondered, "Can this be fixed?" I said, "If you'll try, I'll try."

But, if the reality is we aren't going to try to fix it, we started talking about, "What are we going to do?" Cameron & I are thinking we will continue co-parenting Sam through his high school graduation (June 12), or maybe through his 18th birthday (July 16), but that Cam & I will separate, sometime, this summer.

We've talked about who should move out in the meantime, & where we each of us might go. But, currently, we are trying to amicably share our home, live together as friends.

If we get divorced in California, it seems I will receive some sort of alimony, which should help as I try to wrap my head around, "What's next?"

Once the wondering what was wrong, the anxiety, the confusion, the shock, & devastation were faced, we've been able to be open, honest, real, loving, supportive, & kind.

We've laughed & joked. We've thought it might be alright, felt optimistic, hopeful, liberated, even excited about the possibilities of a more autonomous future. "What does Mary want?" What an interesting question.

I appreciate all Cam has offered in terms of love & support these past 11 years as a family. I am trying to accept his interest in doing what he thinks he should do to be happy, recognizing it frees me up to do what I think I should do to be happy too.

But, today, I'm a little sad, again. Sometimes, I feel brave. Sometimes, I feel lost. It is weird. It is hard. It is us doing our best to be real.

We are all facing some big transitions, in the coming months. Your continued love, support, encouragement, ideas, suggestions, & friendship are most welcome. I think I'm gonna go for a walk...

When Cameron was offered an exciting new life opportunity in Alaska, I was fully supportive. Coming to Alaska has been a wonderful experience. It is something we are all so glad we've had the opportunity to do. We have had amazing experiences and met lovely people here. 

However, Cam has realized teaching is his calling. It is something he is passion-

ate about doing. He cares deeply about his students. The autonomy he had as an associate director at the Academy of Art University is something he greatly enjoyed. The network he had built in San Francisco (and other opportunities there) were missed. We have dear friends there.

So, when Cameron was asked to return to his old position, he decided to do so. He will start back there on April 1, with renewed enthusiasm, appreciation, & a fresh perspective.

Sam & I will most likely stay in Anchorage through the end of Sam's school year (late May). Then, we plan to take our time exploring the 3,000 miles between here and there. We'll travel across Alaska, through Yukon, British Columbia, Washington, Oregon, & California, arriving back in Marin County in late June.

We intend to make the most of the time we have left in Alaska until then, and hope we will have opportunities to return.

Mary, Are You Okay?

Hey, You Guys! 
Thanks for checking in on me.  I am feeling much better.  So sorry we had to cancel... with such short notice, last weekend.  Thank you for being so understanding & kind. 

I'd been doing pretty well & hadn't had a fever/infection in January (despite my number of infection-fighting cells being critically low).  I had a fever/infection in Sept/Oct that landed me in the hospital, one in November & another in December.  We were able to treat the Nov/Dec ones w/out-patient, prescription antibiotics.  Same thing is working with this one, but my fever really spiked Friday night & was scary high on Saturday.  I was crying about it & we had to wonder if we were supposed to go to the hospital or not.  No fun.

Good news is that the doctor I saw, in early December, at the University of Washington Medical Center, in Seattle, thinks he knows what's up.  The director of hematology at UCSF (who I've only seen twice) is now in agreement.  I have an appointment back at UCSF, on Monday, with the big shot doctor, who it seems will be my new treating physician. 

We will discuss a new treatment we are all sort of in agreement about.  This one shouldn't require hospitalization or surgery (hooray) & might just involve what they've tried to call a "gentle/not bad medication" that I might only have to take once a week.  I may be able to stop giving myself shots in the stomach, of another medication, on a daily basis.  I've been having to do that lately just to keep my number of infection-fighting cells above zero. (They bottomed out w/o it, last October).  A healthy person is supposed to have a Neutrophil count of 1500.  (I have been hovering between 200-500 lately.)

I'm going to try working with some 3rd-5th graders on Friday, but I just cancelled four days of work I had lined up for next week, to focus on Monday's appointment & starting the new treatment.  I figured I should take it easy as it lists fun things like, "bloody vomit" & "seizures" as potential side effects

Wish me luck as we see how it goes.

With Warm Regards,
Mary

P.S. I guess Dr. Damon's actual title is: Clinical Professor, Department of Medicine, UCSF; Director, Hematologic Malignancies and Bone Marrow Transplant, UCSF.  (Here's a link to his profile.)

Indolent - My New Favorite Word

I just wrote a message to a friend of my friend, Michael.  In it, I included a quick health recap.  Thought I'd share it with you too, in case you were wondering where things stand.

Hello! I'm sorry to have disappeared for awhile. I knew you were going to be away until around 10/10. I wasn't feeling well then & in mid-October, I ended up in the hospital for an infection & had to have my third bone marrow biopsy.

They were saying they thought the problem w/my immune system was getting worse, moving from Neutropenia to Aplastic Anemia. In November, a specialist at Stanford said I would probably need a bone marrow biopsy. I FREAKED OUT.

We had family here for 10 days around Thanksgiving. During their visit, on 12/1, I flew to Seattle to see a hematologist who has spent 40 years studying what he called my "special hematological condition." He said even really well-trained hematologists don't understand it because it is so rare. He said he didn't think I was getting Aplastic Anemia & didn't think I would need a bone marrow transplant. We were hopeful.

Then, he sort of disappeared for awhile. We're still waiting for him to contact my local hematologist w/conclusions/recommendations. I did hear from him, about a week ago. He said he'd reviewed everything & asked which doctor he should contact.  (He also asked if he could have another doctor look at my bone marrow biopsy slides but didn't say why.  Of course, I gave consent.)

So, hopefully, things are alright. In early December, the Seattle specialist said Neutropenia still appeared to be the dominant problem.  He said he thought I may have something called LGL Syndrome (Large Granular Lymphocyte Syndrome). 

When I shared this with my local hematologist, he said, "Oh, yeah."  "They think you do have LGL."  I was surprised, as this wasn't something I remembered hearing before.  We looked back at the report from my first bone marrow biopsy, from September of 2009.  It said, these findings point to the differential diagnosis of LGL; however, these things, including the absence of large granular lymphocytes argues against this diagnosis.

My primary care physician has a called LGL a "chronic indolent blood disorder."  While I'd rather not have a chronic blood disorder at all, indolent is my new favorite word. 

The word indolent has two meanings, both related.

1. In one sense, indolent means lazy, lethargic or idle.
2. When applied to a medical situation, indolent can mean a problem that causes no pain, or is slow growing and not immediately problematic.

Still waiting for a definitive answer.  Still taking it one day at a time.  Feeling really good, very healthy today.

Jamie Oliver's Asian Noodle Broth

Last night, we tried another recipe from Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution.  I enjoyed it very much & wanted to share it with you but couldn't find a good link to the recipe, so I decided to type it up.

Jamie calls his Asian Chicken Noodle Broth & that's what the guys had but we made two soups last night, one with veggie broth & tofu for me.  Yum.

Let me know if you try it too.

Jamie says you can make it in 17 minutes (if you can multitask).  We never work as quickly as him.

He says, "This is a really quick dish but you're going to have to multitask, cooking your veg & noodles in one pan & your chicken in another.  Read through the recipe before you start so you'll be prepared for what's going to happen.  You'll be amazed at the results - just like something you can get in a posh noodle bar."  (True.)

serves 2 (we doubled it so each version served 2)

1 Tablespoon mixed seeds (pumpkin, poppy, sunflower) - we used all three & some sesame
a small handful of raw cashew nuts
1 quart chicken broth, preferably organic (or organic veggie broth)
2 skinless chicken breast fillets, preferably free-range, organic
(We asked the butcher to slice them into strips.)
Or one 10 oz  pkg of Super Firm tofu, cut into strips (I like Wildwood.)
2 teaspoons five-spice powder (I wasn't sure how I was supposed to know which five spices he meant but the guys at the meat counter said there was a spice called five-spice powder.  Sure enough, in the spice isle, there it was.)
sea salt & freshly ground black pepper
olive oil
a thumb-sized piece of fresh root ginger
1/2 - 1 fresh red chile, to your taste (We ended up sharing one.)
4 ounces rice sticks or vermicelli (We didn't see these particular noodles at our store, ended up buying something called Chinese Noodles that worked great.)
a handful of snow peas
6 thin asparagus spears or 4 regular-sized spears (We split a bunch.)
6 fresh baby corn or 1/2 cup fresh corn kernels (There was no fresh corn at the store this time of year. I was going to use frozen corn kernels but then saw a can of baby corn & used that instead.)
soy sauce
juice of 1 lime
a small handful of spinach leaves

Put a medium frying pan or wok on a high head and add the seeds & cashew nuts to it straight away. (We let the cashews cook a little before adding the smaller seeds so they wouldn't burn.)  While it is heating up, put a large saucepan on high heat.  Fill the saucepan with the chicken (or veggie) broth, heat until very hot, and put a lid on it.  (Next time, we will do this step later, after cooking the chicken/tofu.)  Toss the seeds & nuts around until heated through nicely - this will take a couple of minutes.

While this is happening, slice your chicken breasts lengthways into 3 pieces & put them into a bowl.  (Or slice your tofu.)  Sprinkel the chicken (or tofu) with the five-spice powder and a good pinch of salt & pepper and stir.  When the seeds and nuts are done, transfer them to a plate.  Put the empty pan back on a high heat.  Add a little olive oil to your hot pan with your slices of chicken (or tofu) and cook for 5 minutes, until golden, tossing and turning every now and again.

While the chicken (or tofu) is cooking, peel and finely slice your ginger and slice your chile.  Take the lid off the pan with the chicken (or veggie) broth and add half the chile, all the ginger, your rice sticks (or vermicelli) (or Chinese noodles), snow peas, asparagus, and corn with 2 Tablespoons of soy sauce.  Bring to a boil and cook for 2 to 3 minutes, stiring.  (If your noodles need to be cooked longer, add them first, adding the veggies with only 2-3 minutes of cooking time left.  Our Chinese noodles were supposed to be done in 3 minutes, so we were able to add them at the same time as the veggies.  We used a fork to separate the noodles.)

Halve the lime & squeeze in the juice.  By the time the rice sticks/vermicelli/noodles & veggies are done, the chicken (or tofu) will be cooked.  Take a pice of chicken out & slice it lengthways to check it it's cooked all the way through.  When done, remove all the chicken from the pan & slice each piece in half to expose the juicy chicken inside.  Please don't be tempted to overcook it.  (I loved my sauteed tofu, seasoned w/the five spice mix, salt & pepper & kept snacking on it while working on the veggies.  I broke the strips up to show the white inside.)

To serve, divide the spinach leaves between your bowls and pour over the broth, rice sticks/vermicelli/noodles, and vegetables.  (Our asparagus sunk to the bottom.  We had to search of it.)  Divide the chicken (or tofu) pieces over and scatter with the toasted seeds, cashews, and remaining chile.

Enjoy.

Colleen Creegan - Champion for Women's Rights

Our family's dear friend, Colleen Creegan, is a grad student at NYU, pursuing a master’s degree in Global Affairs.  (She is also Leo's sister and Linda's daughter.)

This winter, she will spend three weeks in Kigali, Rwanda, participating in a Young Leaders Human Rights Delegation, through Global Youth Connect. 

She will work in collaboration with Rwandan young adults to raise awareness of and advocate for Human Rights, both regionally and globally. 

Her personal area of interest is in Women’s Health and Re-
productive Rights.

She will be partnering with Health Development Initiative, a local health advocacy organization, to improve the current family-planning situation in Rwanda.   

She is interested in ending the unsafe, unregulated and illegal operations that are happening everyday worldwide by protecting every woman’s sexual sovereignty. How? In part, by decriminalizing abortions but also by promoting female education, increasing male and female contraceptive use, financially empowering women, ending sex trafficking, ending preventable maternal mortality, persecuting and convicting every genre of rapist and sexually based war criminal...

So that she may be a member of the growing movement that speaks for women worldwide, she needs a team, a team of supporters.  Please consider making a donation.

If you are unable to contribute but want to be involved, she asks that you tell your friends, post on Facebook or your blog, tweet, send smoke signals and stay in touch with her at Colleeninaction@gmail.com. 

Colleen, I, and the women she will help thank you.